I am so tired of being hurt by people that say that they care about you. I am not a very open with feelings guy. I have been hurt many times in the past by people that say that they care about me, or claim to be my friends. This has been hard for me to deal with, and I found the best way in dealing with them is to make sure that I don't let my feelings out.
Now while this may seem drastic, it has kept me from getting hurt time and time again. This is one of the reasons why I don't like to date. I have done it a few times, and every time that I have I have been hurt and learned the hard way that when you break up with someone they want revenge on you and try to find ways to hurt you. I never got this either. I have had girls break up with me, and I have not made it a goal in my life to make them feel the pain that I feel. I know that it is a hard enough time for them and that the last thing that they need is someone trying to make their life harder on them.
Once again though I find myself facing this problem. I let my guard down and told a person who I thought I could trust some of my feelings. Sadly they have used these feelings to hurt me. I just don't understand it. Why can I not find someone who will listen to me, and not use my feelings against me. Is that really to hard to ask for? I know many secrets about people, many of the people I know trust me not to tell secrets. But yet while I will listen to them and not share their secrets, it seems like they don't feel that this is a two way street.
In the end I am tired of being used. I am tired of not having a person that I can talk to and just tell me feelings to, without them judging me or spilling my secrets. Does it ever stop?
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maybe they don't think it was such a big deal to share?
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